Diamonds are Forever but they aren't Rare

Today is Valentine's day. Every time I turn on the TV there are commercials for flowers, chocolate, and diamonds. I was always told that diamonds are the hardest material on this earth. This I believe. Nothing will make an obnoxious cut in a glass window like a diamond. Quartz cuts glass, but one really has to press hard to make a mark. The problem I have with the diamond thing is this: They are supposed to be rare. If diamonds are so darn rare why does every Dick and Jane in my county have at least one? There have got to be billions of diamonds that have been mined. Most are used as abrasives or in industry. The really cool diamonds get weighed, cut, polished, and set in jewelry. The super cool stones end up in places like the Smithsonian.

Being the killjoy of romanticism that I am, I made a list of cool rare things I would like to get in lieu of a really expensive diamond ring. Actually I do have one of these items in my possession. See if you can guess which one it is: I could not figure out how to paste photos on to this Blog. Gotta work on that.

1.) A nice specimen of a Chrondritic Meteorite.

Meteorites are rare, and only about 5% of meteorites are made up of actual stone and volatiles. Most meteorites that we find are made up of nickel and iron, hence why it is so easy to find a meteorite with a metal detector. I always wanted to have something that has been floating around in space longer than life has been on this planet. Why not get the best?

2.) First Edition of George Lamsa's translation of the New Testament. Why not go from Aramaic directly to English? What do we have to read a Bible that went from Aramaic to Greek to English. Talk about "Lost in Translation."

3.) A pink diamond.

OK, the particular stone I was thinking of is retailing for $385,000. I like pink, what can I say? Most people however would mistake this for cubic zirconium.

4.) A Natural Alexandrite. This gemstone is the rarest gemstone on earth. They change color depending on the type of light that shines through them. I enjoy my "created" alexandrite ring, but I'd get a kick out of just seeing a natural one just once.

5.) A new 8' X 10' Tekke rug.

Someone said these rugs are addictive and they are correct. I have a small runner Tekke rug that I bought off e-bay from a seller in Turkmenistan. It came from Ashgabad with all these certificates and wrapped in a burlap sack sealed with an export stamp. I paid $40 for this rug and another $20 to get it to Idaho. The workwomanship (Women make the rugs by hand) is incredible. If you ever get one of these rugs you will be forever feeling every other Persian run to compare quality.

6.) A Marwari Horse.

There are only about 10-20 of these horses in the New World. They are rare to begin with and then one has to go through all the hoops to get them here. If they test positive for a couple nasty diseases they never get out of quarantine. They are from Rajastan in India. They just look like one smooth ride. I'd probably get my ass dumped quickly because I would not be able to quit looking at the unique ears of these horses. I was offered a trip to India to take part in an Endurance ride. I would have had the experience of riding one of these horses. I could have gone to India several times with the money I threw away on my youngest daughters tuition and rent. And I say "threw away" because she just quit going to class and got an "F" in every class. Oh well.

7.) A Contra Bass clarinet for my older daughter. She has a Bass Clarinet that she will probably keep for the rest of her life and even has it named. Two more months and I'll have the darn thing paid off. For the price of a couple trips to Rajastan, India I could probably buy her a Contra Bass Clarinet. We'll see.

OK, so you are probably guessing it's the Bible. I was going through my parents old books and stumbled on to the first edition. It was everything I could do to not to gasp when I found it. I just said, "Mom, this is kind of neat. Do you mind if I take Grandma's Bible home with me?" Thank goodness my mom said yes because it probably would have been stolen with all the other antiques at the estate sale. Or worse, my sister would have thrown it away.

Stupid Things We Buy

The other night I was watching the usual news fare and one of those commercials came on selling something via credit card. I think it was the same guy that sells the ShamWoW towels. If you watch Fox news you've seen this guy. He wears the phone head set like he's multitasking a phone call with his mom while summoning the "camera guy" to take a look at this.

The ShamWow towels appear to undo the first law of thermodymamis in that they appear take up more fluid than they have volume to hold. Anyway, the ShamWow guy was selling this other magic tool that chops and dices things with a slap of the hand. Golly, it's nice to know that when I get Parkinsons disease I will still be able to chop garlic. It looked like a handy device and I even took down the phone number and had my credit card number ready. Then I remembered buying the "chef'n revin chef" similar to the one linked below:

http://www.wrapables.com/jsp/ProductDetail.jsp?ProductCode=A59906#MORE

This is not the actual P.O.S that I paid twenty dollars for. This is an impoved design on the one that I bought. The garlic miracle machine that I bought used a pull string to rotate the blades. It is still a magor pain in the ass to extract the garlic from, and when the objective is trying NOT to get garlic on the fingers, one would do better to just learn how to chop efficiently. So it got me thinking of the stupidest things I have ever spent money on. The funny thing that when I was making the purchase of these items, I just didn't feel good about it.

Here goes

1. The garlic chopper described above. The real insult was watching Alton Brown demo this on "Good Eats" as a joke. It was a joke alright as my husband never lets me forget it.

2. This vehicle:

The day we bought this "Vehicle" the horoscope recommended to rethink big purchases. I had the misfortune of experiencing an engine blow-up with this POS. And what did we do? We spent even more money putting in a new engine. It was hotter than hell to drive, shook, and got eight miles to the gallon. I called it "Shake and Bake." We sold it for $900. I was never happier to be rid of a lemon.

3. A cast iron Wok. I've had it for 20 years and have yet to use it. I'd like to sell it on e-bay but the shipping would cost way more than it is worth.

4. A trail saddle for my husband. He thought he wanted to ride so I bought a saddle and a horse for him. Now he doesn't want to ride. I love the old horse, but the saddle has got to go. I'm just not a fan of western saddles. Really though, we live together, we work together, we carpool together. I love him to death but I enjoy my solitude on my horse and I like to gab with my horsey friends. No biggy, just another thing that has value that I need to get rid of.

5. Everything in my youngest daughter's apratment. She trashed it all and it ended up in the dumpster when she thought she was going to move to another city with the looser boyfriend.