Everyone has epiphanies, but most don’t know they are having one when it comes: The epiphany itself happens when one sits back and considers the meaning of an event or circumstances.
Yesterday at work I threw away a plant I could not keep alive. During the Christmas season a consultant came by and gave all us engineers plants as holiday gifts. Who ever came up with the idea that the average technogeek could actually keep a plant alive is beyond me, but someone must have thought so. When I got the plant I followed the directions about caring for it. It’s never flourished under my care. Everyone else’s plants are thriving. It occurred to me that it wasn’t me but it was the plant that was on the blink. In the dumpster it went.
We have two daughters. The oldest is what I call the “Just add Water” child. I could have had five more just like her. Her attitude reminds me of a draft horse. She just plugs away at things at a steady pace and gets things done. She’s kind, thoughtful, and focused on her goals. When she comes home from college she cleans the house. No biggy, she just does it because she gets bored.
Then we have the younger high maintenance daughter. She’s always been, well, a pain in the ass. She’s talented, funny, and very intelligent. When she’s in a good mood she is way fun to be around. When she’s in a bad mood, get out of the way. She’s hard headed and has to learn everything herself. She NEVER takes advice. The last three years have been hell with us. She’s been in trouble with the law, is on probation and flunked most her college classes last semester. She hangs around with the creepiest bunch of goalless wonders I have ever seen. I keep thinking that she’ll wake up and get her act together but who knows? Yesterday I got a call from her ex-roommate's aunt who said they were pressing vandalism charges on my daughter for trashing, and I mean TRASHING the kitchen. My daughter denies that she did this, however does not have the gumption to get her alibi confirmed or even write down what she was doing the evening of the vandalism event. That is what irritates me so much: she is so lax about not seeing the long term consequences of what she does or does not do. My guess is she’ll end up in jail again and flunk her classes again. I will have failed as a parent.
The other thing that happened yesterday is that the dog that we rescued got away again. About a month ago we “adopted” this young boxer. We had him neutered and vaccinated and named him "bub." We bought him a bed, a couple dog toys, and all peripheral things dogs need.
Bub is a really nice house dog. He doesn’t chew on things. He doesn’t shed. He lies around and likes to be petted and talked to: The PERFECT house dog. About a week into having this dog I said, “I can’t imagine how anyone would want to get rid of this dog.” My husband said, “Well, someone got rid of him for a reason.” We soon learned the reason. We have what I though was an escape-proof kennel. It‘s a cyclone fence with cyclone fencing on the roof and floor. Dogs can’t dig out or climb out of this kennel. What we didn’t imagine however was that Bub was able to chew out of the cyclone. He’d work on the seams on the floor. When he got out the first time we spent a good half a day reinforcing the seam. When he got out the second time we reinforced it again. Yesterday he chewed through the re-enforcement and has not been back. I hope he stays gone. There’s pretty much nothing we can do to keep this dog kenneled. I hope someone says, “Who could part with such a nice dog?” Perhaps Bubwill find an owner that will never tie him up or kennel him. Then again the dog might just find himself as a “training victim” for the dog fighters around here or get hit by a car. I don’t have control over his fate anymore. I can’t think about it.
This morning when I was doing the outside chores feeding horses and warming up the car I walked over to the kennel and looked at the hole in the fence. It was then that I had the epiphany about my daughter. She’s like Bub who will not tolerate being kenneled. No matter what we do she’ll get out and run until she finds someone that will take care of her. She might find another temporary home until she gets sick of it, or she might land in a very bad situation, or she just might settle down and get her act together. I’ve resigned myself that I can’t control her fate. It’s not my fault she’s like this. It’s just the person she is.
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